The Word Porn No One Reads yet all stare at in the privacy of our basement: The BRL Power Rankings.

Updated: Sep 19, 2023

The results from the inaugural "Hand Job Nails and Spa 70" are in. They came quickly. Had to wait 4 seasons for them to come last time and they came back to back. Came twice in a row. It's so crazy.

It's still not popular. 28 views last time. And I refreshed at least 18 times. Yet Evan read them 4 times, and apparently Rob and Jacob also read them a few times apiece. So back for one more week, the Brownney Racing League Power Rankings.

1. Jacob Grant (Previous: 1)- He's lost his touch. Leads the points but only finished 4th at Darlington. Won Monday night, but that league doesn't count. It's like Kyle Busch winning in xFinity. His only competition was Evan and Evan sucks.

2.Evan Kinney (Previous: 6)-Evan finished 2nd at Darlington and 2nd at Bristol. If he had half the talent Jacob had he'd be able to win a damn race. Also Evan only has a B license. Let that be a warning to all of you when you race around him in the weeks to come.

3. Josh Aultice (Previous: 4)- I love Josh. He does stuff to make me feel better about self destructing when I self destruct on pit road. Yes, Josh is a ton better than me. Yes, Josh can usually flat out kill pit road. But He didn't at Darlington. And it cost him dearly. Welcome to the club Josh. Every once in awhile it's got to feel nice to suck on pit road like the rest of us plebs.

4. Rob Sherwood (Previous: N/A)- Speaking of Josh sucking on pit road....Rob's finishes seem to trend towards: "Not Relevant", "2nd", "Not Relevant", "Not Relevant", "Not Relevant", "1st". What the hell dude make up your mind. Are you the SNB number one or are you just Josh's little b****. (bird).

5. Caleb Smith (Previous: 3)- What the f*** was that Caleb? I had to make sure it said "Caleb" Smith and not "Cayden" or "Chris".

6. Jeremy Mohr (Previous: 5)- Two Brownney Racing boys in the top 6. Let the conspiracy theories begin. No honestly, ranked you here because I wanted to shoutout the Bull Dogs. Managed to score 3 more points on South Carolina than Furman did and 7 less than a good ACC (but mediocre compared to every other P5 conference) UNC team. Nice work.

Fell From Rankings:

Chris Smith, sorry Chris.

Abe, sorry Abe. I love you more than Chris loves you.

Honorable Mentions:

Everyone who shows up to race with us. Except Steven Tuck. I hope he never races with us again.

RIP Tony Trepasso. Fly high Tony.